thirty-four

Today is my husbands thirty-fourth birthday. Three years ago, we celebrated his birthday together as a couple for the first time. Before we were married, we decided to do things a little differently then the new social norm. We hadn't dated long before he proposed (he waited about a month). We didn't spend time alone at his place. Instead we spent time with each other where I lived, at my sister's house, in her front-room so we would have accountability. Accountability in the form an older sister, her husband and their five daughters. We held hands, took long walks in the tree park near my house and on chilly days we'd stroll through the Autumn leaves sipping warm cider. We both have had devastating relationships in the past so we set boundaries very early on. On our wedding day, we were able to share so many firsts as husband and wife. Perhaps my most cherished is our first kiss. We were together four months before that kiss.

For his first birthday after we were married, I made a list of thirty-two things I treasured about my husband. Sitting here, reading This list I made two years ago has me feeling conflicted. I can close my eyes and recall every emotion and memory which produced a number on that list. Every smile he gave, a tender brush of his hand on mine and the continual reassurance. With the joy that list brought, the eagerness and wonder of a new bride learning how to be a wife and care for her newlyweded husband. It also brought a pang of sadness. How life can change a person in a few short years. Three years of physical struggle and pain seeps into every crevice in a marriage. Because it doesn't effect you, it effects both of you. And the once eagerness of caring for a husband and children can slowly turn into a chore. A day cemented in dread as parts of your body rapidly deteriorate. It's easy to be shut away, and that is how I am, how I've been. Over the past few weeks I have been seeing glimpses of the newly married us. And even though I'm sad that I feel so far removed from the woman who stood before God and made a covenant with her husband, I'm beginning to feel that eagerness again.

Here are thirty-four things I treasure about my husband:

1) He passionately loves God
2) He is steadfast (he wont give up on me, no matter how hard I try to push him away!)
3) Loves me abundantly
4) So very smart
5) So very, very, very hot
6) Loves to read
7) Loves my cooking
8) Supportive
9) He's my Super Hero
10) A very good provider
11) He humors me...

12) He's tender
13) He's romantic
14) He remembers dates and special events so I don't have to
15) He loves being a daddy
16) Takes care of me when I have a meltdown
17) Sets goals and meets them
18) He's very precise
19) Ava Marie Lord:

20)Baxter Isaac Lord:

21) Super creative
22) Helps me out around the house when I'm having a hard time
23) Encouraging
24) Way more patient then I am
25) Loves to be silly with Mava
26) Has his priorities straight
27) Did I mention Hot?...

28) Cute butt
29) Strong
30) Passionate
31) Faithful
32) Is an amazing daddy
33) Cherishes his family...

34) I am his and he is mine.