I heard my baby's heartbeat today

Periodically during these first ten weeks, I would call my sister and ask: are you sure I am pregnant?
The thing was, I hardly had any symptoms at all. Just extreme fatigue, shortness of breath, a constant full bladder and hormone surges (my dear husband says they keep life interesting). Our first Doctors appointment was at ten fifteen, needless to say, I was up just before seven. On the way, I told my husband that I hoped we could hear the baby's heartbeat, just so I could be really sure that I was with child.
After the standard check in procedure, we were lead into our Doctors office. we had just seen him in early April, told him we wanted a family so he set us up with a plan of action. As we sat down in front of his desk, he promptly said, "That was fast" (we had a positive pregnancy test May eighteenth). At the end of my exam, he brought out the hand held machine that could pick up our baby's heart beat. He moved it around my belly for a while, I was holding my breath. I had a sinking feeling that we might not be blessed with the precious sound of a beating heart. Then it happened, it was a dull, faint rapid beat. Our Doctor moved the thing around, adjusted the volume, then suddenly from the center of my belly was the hearty dub dub of our baby.

11

There is a time
between hazy gray
and decision.

When all stands still,
and things are weighed.
The unimportance of most directions--

Consequences stem.
Even stoic souls
are prone to decay;

If lingered in this debate.

The Perfect Husband

In attempt to convert the office into a nursery, I stumbled upon several portfolios from junior high. As a student then and as someone who has her degree in Liberal Studies, a minor in English and several little AA's, I still have no clue as to why teachers insist on forcing students to put together these portfolios. Especially since the quality of work is not taught, reinforced and expected upon!
However, as I sat on the couch with my feet up, I found in a portfolio I did when I was twelve, a short paper (if you can call it that!) entitled, 'The Perfect Husband'. I must admit that as I was reading it, the pregnancy hormones hit in full force and I quickly found myself both crying and laughing at the same time. I wanted to share this paper and have decided to reveal it in its full, unabashed glory, with horrid grammar and abundant misspellings.

The Perfect Husband

the following are things that I would like and hopefully get in a husband wicth is unlikly but it wouldnt hurt to try.

the perfiect husband would have to be romantic so he could sweep me of my feet.
caring because every body needs caring,

inthusiastic because if nobody was inthusiastic the wourld would be boring,
Loving because every baody needs loving,

Kind because i need some one to be kind to me,
genrues because he could give to the underprivalidged.

good sence of hummer because when I come home frome a heard day of work, he could make me laught,
outgoing because I'm outgoing.

Smart because I could learn frome him and he could learn frome me
He would have to be clean because if he was dirty it would be a turn off.

Butiful not inner but outer,
organized because he would have to keep things neat.

he would have to be good at basket ball so we could play together,
foot ball so I could watch, and Base ball so I could watch.

and in conclusion,
my husband would have to be like me.


All I can really say in response to that is, God is good. He made for me a most special, amazing, loving and caring husband (he's super hot too!). Even when I am not those things to him, he is patient with me. Isn't God sovereign? He knew what kind of man I needed, even before I was formed!
God is good.

Snowstorm

(A Dedication)

The stars fall like snow,

Accumulating on the ground—

Leaving their home.

There is not a word left—

Only disappearing breath

And I alone.

I caused the stars to fail.

Told them to give up—

They shine with no avail.

I whispered the words

That were whispered to me—

With a mouthful of deceit.

I watched them fall

With eyes that watched me.

A 1930's Wife

I wonder how I'd score as a 1930's husband...

106 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Barren

(an introduction)

I was nineteen when I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.
I was told that I had less then a ten percent chance of being fertile. I spent all my energy convincing myself that it was ok, that I didn’t want children anyway. Because of my syndrome, I weighed 260 pounds; that included diet and exercise. By the grace of God I lost 130 pounds and began taking medication in attempt to further change the body I was given.
Now, I'm 28 years old, married since January 12, 2008 and seven weeks pregnant. I feel as though I go about my day holding my breath, cautious of everything and careful; fearing miscarriage. I struggled greatly in the first couple of weeks, thinking that I am only pregnant just so I can loss the baby. My sister who has given birth six times, and has five beautiful girls gave me comfort. She said that I could rest in God's perfect plan. This is the first bit of trust we must learn as mommies. I felt like I could finally breathe, for the first time since the double pink lines appeared on the test stick.
The focus of my mind changed. Instead of living in fear, I began to pray and every night as I lay next to my husband, I thank God for allowing me to be a mom, even if it's just for that day.
I thank God.